Tag Archive: pain


Resentment

Husain’s diary entry: 4.9.12
How far can we go resenting? Who can define the boundaries for reasonable show of protests?

A while ago, I had a chat with a few friends over a cup of hot coffee whose mesmerizing vapors made one of us look back at one of his experiences with a strict teacher we all knew.

He said ,she, although a wonderful human being went a little too chatty about her students who apparently gave her a little hard time and that annoyed him as she went on gossiping her way to glory.On other days he wouldn’t ind it, but that particular Monday was a bit speedy on his clock as the matter he addressed, deserved immediate attention.

I wondered aloud why he didn’t voice his concern with her. To which my herbal tea- lover friend putting down his glass admonished me with dangers of showing ‘busy’ people of how busy we are. He said it is highly impolite and must at all cost be avoided especially if the person is a higher authority and has autocratic and undemocratic tendencies. I couldn’t understand how fear should dictate how one feels and reacts. They said I never would.


Yes I am a rebel and have no consideration for ‘rules’ that people make. I would like to correct them. I love following rules which are ‘written’ and not otherwise. There must be many blithering idiots like me who wouldn’t like to knuckle under powerful people (PP) and hide their resentment. Folks who wouldn’t betray their emotions for PP to like them.


We have people who defy men who choose to take a stand against Mean and Big yet wouldn’t join them or act like them when opportunity presents itself. Such hero-worship is pointless. And such spinelessness is criminal. I don’t advocate people should go crazy and overtly express themselves through choicest foul words but I believe showing you are uncomfortable when you are, is legitimate. I believe we owe it to ourselves.
But who am I kidding? We have lives to live, places to be and bungalows to erect. Surely such talk can only interfere with all the stuff we have in our minds. We should emulate plastic dolls which forever smile even when torn by evil babies. Pretense, as my wise friend who serves us hot beverages at our favorite coffee joint says, is a necessary accessory these days.


The coffee served here has started to lose its sting maybe I should complain. But the owner might ask me to immediately clear my due account first or leave the premise. Wait, what did we just learn here?

Husain Sodawalla
husain.sodawalla@gmail.com

Right Here Waiting For You…

Before you start reading this, I just want to tell it is not to blame anyone, any group. It is just what I have gone through.

 

It has been more than three years when I last saw her. Her body lying in front of me, trying to say, “I love you so much that I am afraid to be separated from you.”

It was the day when she finally decided that the society which she is a part of, will not permit her for such a serious offence and she finally decided to punish herself, rather punish me.

Standing still in a corner, everything had stopped for me. Just unable to understand anything, sure, I didn’t want to continue. Just asking a question to her, why she made this decision alone. I wanted to be with her forever, but…

I still remember the day when I first met her. As usual, hesitated to approach a girl, but this time somehow managed, only because, it was her. Friendship was the only thing I wanted that moment, and surprisingly, I was successful.

Soon, there was nothing she didn’t know about me, and, in return, she had someone she could trust on. Though, only friends, we had our own little cute world. We had to spend all the time together, be it the school, coaching or any other time.

In the next six months, I gathered the courage to speak out the truth. The only thing, I think, she could find in me was the truth, and if it was so, it was sufficient for her acceptance. Well, nothing left to tell. It was the only thing I wanted.

For the next two years, sometimes together, most of the time away from each other (well, studies are another part of life at that stage). Just the thing we had, trust, faith and love (if this is called so. I am no one describe it.).

But, we have a so called society, which we are a part of. But still, it is not ours (at least in my case). She somehow realized that taking the rules of ours society into account, she had committed a huge crime. The fear of being separated dominated my faith, my love and everything. She had more faith on our society than me and she was sure we wouldn’t be able to face it. Finally, she decided to quit.

I have been waiting for her since the last three years with a hope that she might realize that I need her at every stage of my life. Well, she hasn’t returned till now and the only thing I can do is to wait.

Abhishek Kumar

abhishekkumar5581@gmail.com

N.I.F.T Mumbai

https://www.facebook.com/abhi2127

The Pessimist’s Loss

He walked in despair
Each step, a melancholic song;
Life in shambles, beyond repair,
He sat reflecting; what went wrong?

The darkness pressed on,
The breeze felt colder
As he sat on the edge of the cliff
Nothing but misery, sitting astride his shoulder

He picked up the stone
From the pile by his side
And threw it far, into the waves
With a rage, he couldn’t hide

The darkest hour wore on
Even as he cursed his luck, writhing in anguish
Each little stone bore the brunt
Of every unfulfilled wish

The first ray broke through the clouds
Cutting through the sea mist
The endless sky, now tinged a deep crimson
Vied for the attention of the eternal pessimist

Drowned in an ocean of maudlin
Too lost in his gloom
Crying in his beer, too blinded by sorrow
To notice Nature in full bloom

He fumbled for more stones
To cast away with disdain,
Hands probing in the erstwhile pile,
Searching impatiently, but all in vain.

The birds seemed to mock
The tides laughed like the thunder.
All grief was replaced by shock
As he looked up and realized  his blunder.

Eos gave her most mischievous smile
He sat there, head in hands and stunned
Looking at the last of the rocks he had fed the ocean with
It was a priceless diamond.

– Amogh Das Guru

jumpygyanguru.wordpress.com

BITS Pilani Dubai Campus

 

The Night

(this one coming in the day time. . . )

When the Sun goes underneath the horizon
The cats run home,
The Lighthouses switch on,
And the darkness covers the dome
There comes the night!

A farmer returns from the farm
Doing all the hard work;
Wish to sleep in someone’s arm,
Hurries with the meal, leaving behind the fork;

Has to combat mosquito and Hessian fly,
The moon acts as dim light,
There he lies under the sky,
Couldn’t see a single flight;
And once again, comes the Night!

It’s half past nine
The house is empty;
Oh! He is a friend of mine,
Exists the office gate, looks quite hefty.

Foreheads bear the line of tension,
Takes the dinner in restaurant;
Manages to buy the reddish-brown solution,
To fade away the glimpses of morning taunt;
And this is how the Night comes on!

The dew is cold upon the ground,
The boy has ambition up to the brim,
He is a whirring sail going round,
Has to paddle fast through the rim;

“Tomorrow is exam” gets the remark,
Discards the shows and dinner from schedule,
Quickly started making the arc,
This night only he has to rule.
And finally comes the Night!

“My Prince! My Prince” is the sound
There’s a baby in the town,
In the cradle, with toy’s around,
Has slept all day, it’s time to make the mother frown;

The moon requests him to sleep,
Big-black eyes look up with innocence,
Stubborn enough and continued to creep,
That night, even the star enjoyed the tiny’s presence!

But still,
Whosoever it is
The farmer, my friend, the boy or the baby;
Irrespective of the need, situation and relation
THE NIGHT came, without any fail
As a true companion;

Irrespective of the behaviour
THE NIGHT showed the endeavour,
We use it,
We waste it,
We shorten it, we make it large.

But still,
It makes
No complaint
No demand….
THE NIGHT!

Samir Santosh
samir.santosh@gmail.com

Chasing a Mountain

A man with teeth all blue
With sugar in both his pockets
And hair all green
Wanted to chase Mt. Dream

He walked and walked
With his pet pony he talked
Confiding in him his fears and misgivings
For he knew his equine friend had a large heart

He wondered one day why his friend is distant
Since mood swings are innate only to humans
He felt those signs are just tantrums
That maybe all this travelling is making him sick
“Oh that’s why he’s just acting up as prick”

Then one dawn the hollowness in his mind shook him up
All sweating and thirsty he hurried up
To find his buddy
But to his heart-break,
It was not to be

 Suddenly the chase of his life-time seemed trivial
For the joy of journey together drowned
He knew this had created a vacuum
Which would suck not only the sweet success of
Conquest of Mt. Dream but also the spirit of his being ‘him’.

 He knew he had to complete his run
Only then
The Sun of Time shall burn in everyone’s mind the Green-head Sugar-Pockets’ folly
So slowly and with a broken determination he went on to search his unhappy glory

 He intended to become an epitome of Success
But instead he become man who was given a Lemon
Sermons, discussions and vile chat he featured
Different perspectives shaped around him
Some as a Relentless wayfarer
And others not so pleasant

 Today he wears a nice suit
Smiles quite often adjusting his glasses
His hair is well dyed
But his pockets are empty..

Husain Sodawalla
husain.sodawalla@gmail.com

Kaash…

Kaash…
Tu mere dil kay kareeb hota
Toh sunta is dil ki dhadkano ko
Hota hai kitna shor yahaan
Tujhsey bichadne ke ghum se

Kaash…
Tu mere zindagi ka naseeb hota
Toh zindagi aaj khiley gulab si hoti
Apni halki-hali khusboo’n se
Mere jeevan, ghar, aangan mehkata

Kaash…
Tu mil kay mujhse bichhda na hota
Toh aaj tere saath se, tere pyaar se
Mein khil-khilati muskurati har dum
Taa-umr tujhse hi mohabbat karti

Kaash…
Teri mohabbat bewafa na hoti
Toh mera masoom dil tuta na hota
Ummeed ka daaman chhuta na hota
Pyaar se bharosa utha na hota

Kaash…
Yeh dil toot kar chahta na tujhe
Toh aaj bhulna tujhe aasan hota
Kar baithi bhool tujhse dil laga kar
Ab pacchta kar kuch haath nahi aata

Heena Ahuja
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Heenas-Wings-iwrite/193028494121192

mY GrIeF

In my deep grief…
I tried to put my pain into words
But no sentences formed, no rhythm matched
I threw the pen dejected
And thought my grief is of no use but to cry…

In my deep grief…
I watched the beautiful painting on the wall…
Related all the colors to my tragedy, unwittingly…
And destroyed the innocence,
Loveliness of the painting
And thought my pain is of no use but to destroy…

In my deep grief…
I watched the birds flying,
The river flowing…
And thought someday they will face the same grief as mine
And will lose all their beauty..
I got angry at myself
And thought my grief is of no use but to feel jealous…

In my grief…
I listened to the song which always made me happy
But the grief changed its
Meaning and made that song sad for me…
I threw my earphones away and thought
My grief is of no use but to scatter itself everywhere…

Ashwini
itsashwinisplace.blogspot.com

Hear My Prayer…

Stop using me
What I am, let me be

Please let me go
It’s time to be out of sorrow

Try to do things on your own
Or else one day everything shall be gone

But now I won’t drone
As no one can make me mourn

Let there be of my happiness a knoll
A smile is what I need at all!

Happy Republic Day.

Shaggy
The Alexandra Girls’ English Institution

You + Me = WE…OnCe UpOn A tImE….!!!

(It’s the poem on the evening I met you and we had a silent conversation in our minds…without opening our mouths…!!!)

Days are going by,
But your memories still stand-by,
The harder I try to fight with your memories.
I just end with too many sorries,
Sorry for once you were mine,
But because of you, now I just consider myself for wine.
Feelings are flowing up and down,
But no one is there for them to crown,
The mind is just saying MOVE-ON,
But my mind is struggling with my heart that how can I MOVE-ON.
Emotions are playing a game of Hide-N-Seek,
But it can neither Hide its Sadness nor can it Seek for Happiness.
The Sun is setting by,
The darkness is falling by,
But my Feelings and Emotions for YOU still stand by.

Kinjal Chandaria

The Break up!

11th December 2012

It’s been two weeks since we broke up. But, I can’t get over her. The girls around me are amazing, but I just can’t love anyone else like I loved her. She was the one, who taught me love. In spite of whatever happened between the two of us, I can’t forget her. The times we spent together still gets a smile on my face. Although, the last two months have been really tough, for the both of us, I still think I cannot live without her. But then, if we broke up, there was a reason, or maybe reasons. Well, in our case, there were many. We just couldn’t survive. So, probably, if it has happened now, it however had to happen at some point of time. If we weren’t meant to be, we would have this break up, now or maybe somewhere in the near future. So, it would be more difficult to get over each other than. We are still friends. Because, just because our relationship didn’t work out doesn’t means that we cannot be friends. Maybe, we make better friends than lovers. But, I should get away from her. I should stop the constant texting, Facebook stalking, chatting, talking on the phone this often, everything. I should converse with her on a platonic level with her without any ulterior motive. Yes, ulterior motive here includes the irresistible urge to get back together. I am not with her, because the relationship turned out to be different from what we wanted. So, life surely has other plans for us. But don’t forget, if this relationship didn’t work out doesn’t means that it wasn’t necessary. It was an inevitable part of your journey to make you what you’re meant to be. I shouldn’t lose hope in love, just because this relationship didn’t work out well. There might be something better awaiting for me, which is meant for me.
_______________________________________________________________________________
All of us go through this phase in life at some point or the other. No matter, how much you love your partner, break up is an irresistible part of a relationship cycle these days. The post break up phase is the worst, one can ever go through. We get tempted to text our ex, no matter if our ex hardly bothers to reply. One often thinks of the good times and tries to get back, although our ex hardly cares. Every couple around us reminds us of how good we once used to be, which is nothing but impossible now. Every couple, mushing up, makes us jealous and envious. We miss our ex even more. Mood swings are often a part of this phase. We feel vulnerable. We feel unwanted. We feel useless. The feeling that no one loves us, and no one cares is common to everyone after the break up. But, don’t lose hope. If it happened, it happened for a reason. You just have to wait for that reason. Move on. Life moves on too. I know, saying this is easier, than doing it. But, we should try creative and innovative stuffs. Watch movies, Hang out with our friends, who would make us feel loved. Who would get back the energy and enthusiasm in us. Who would make us want to live. And, while you’re with all this, you might get someone who’s made for you. You never know. She might be around. You just need to keep your eyes wide open. Most of all, you don’t need to doubt it. You don’t need to think if it would work out or not. You just need to go ahead. Make the move. Make it count.

Rounak Nayak
Rounaknayak@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/rounaknayak

'Campus Writing'

Let Creativity Run Wild..!